Sex and Religion: Uncomfortable Bedfellows?

My heart in your hands By aussiegall

“Sex and religion are often considered uncomfortable bedfellows.” - ‘Religion, Youth & Sexuality’ Selected Key Findings from a Multi-Faith Exploration – Nottingham University.

But maybe there is more that unites than divides. As American author, Susan Sontag, observes, ‘Religion is probably, after sex, the second oldest resource which human beings have available to them for blowing their minds!’

However, in an increasingly sexually progressive culture, where there is more and more pressure for SRE (Sex and Relationships Education) to be a value-free/ unbiased/ neutral/ information only, activity, ‘religious’ teaching on sexuality can often be viewed as being intrusive, overly moralistic, ‘sex-negative’ and out-dated.
 
It is against this backdrop that, in 2005, a production company set out to see if doing things the ‘God-way’ still had any relevance, in a brave 3-part BBC series. They found Christian Youth Workers, Rachel Gardner and Dan Burke and together created and filmed the very first Romance Academy project for twelve teenagers from North London. It ran for five months, consisted of 2-hour weekly sessions and encouraged the young people to abstain from sexual activity for the duration of the project (through a joint pledge), in order to explore the value of relationships and each other.
 
The result?
 
Well, let’s just say that 6 years later, Romance Academy is still going strong. It is now a registered charity training and equipping other youth workers and working in different contexts across the country. We passionately believe that the world is built on the success and failure of our relationships, which is why our material is built around biblical wisdom for relationships: faithfulness, love and commitment – virtues that are vital for human flourishing. Whilst there is no explicit Christian teaching in our material, our faith still informs what we do.

As Sex Educators, we want young people not only to be informed but also empathetic: to think, feel and care about themselves and each other – to see the bigger picture. In order for us to do this even better, we feel that there needs to be a greater focus in wider SRE on the spiritual dimension. Sex is after all, more than simply a physical act.
 
Spirituality is about the cultivation of the inner world that encourages reflection, imagination, and the development of moral character. Whether religiously tethered or not, it engages young people’s creativity and enables them to deal with issues on a personal level – providing a framework for understanding the purpose and meaning of sex and opening up discussion about identity.
 
Editor of the Pacific News, Kathie Dobie, puts it like this: ‘‘Who’d have thought that teenagers talking about sex would end up talking about their souls…’cos that’s what they’re talking about isn’t it?  Not the adventure of skin on skin…but something bigger than themselves to live for.”
 
For that reason, it is not uncommon to hear reports from some of our Christian RA leaders that conversations about sex have lead to conversations about faith. As we all know, life is a journey. At times we need to be told where we’re going wrong and at other times we need understanding and companionship for the road. Romance Academy wants to help young people towards a greater understanding of themselves and so has deliberately designed a project that facilitates big discussion and creates space for journeying and exploration. In a sense, meeting young people where they’re at and talking about issues to do with sexuality, will always mean that spirituality is never far behind, we just don’t choose to start there.

Fundamentally, RA believes that good SRE should be about the heart, as much as it is about the parts and helping young people have access to people, places and projects that alleviate some of pressure to be sexually active can be a lifeline. Good Faith and Good Sex both depend on this belief–that each one of us is free. Free to say no or yes. Free to be ourselves, free to love, free to have faith.
 
Romance Academy’s big vision is to break the cycle of damaging relationships. Practically, we would love to be in touch with/train more leaders to engage with the hot topics. We think it’s important that the church engages with this stuff and we’d love, one day, for every young person in the UK to be within 10 miles of an Academy. Since our re-launch in January 2011 we have licenced around 80 organizations to use our material, with 2012 looking set to be even bigger. We are passionate about partnership and believe that joined up thinking across the secular/sacred divide, can ensure that a generation of young people are able to embrace their self-worth, appreciate their interconnectedness and exercise their freedom to make choices that don’t damage themselves or others.

Read more on the Romance Academy website.

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